Christine Ardigo - Women's Fiction

By Christine Ardigo

Victoria Elling

Hello, I'm Victoria, and what Heather said about us being great friends here, is true, but everything else is false. Not that she's lying, but she doesn't know what I'm really going through.

I'm not a rock, well at least not anymore. My father raised me to excel in everything, and I'm the classic definition of a perfectionist, but that's not how I'm feeling now.

Sure I was the only one of my friends to attend college and then later receive a masters degree. I started many successful programs in the hospital too, not to mention the work I do at the Cancer Foundation. But my son is in his junior year of college now, my daughter's about to graduate high school and they're both moving on with their lives. It's basically just me in our home now.

Well, me and my husband......Ed.

Okay, I know he's not much to look at but he was rather cute thirty years ago when we started dating in high school. We just went to our 35th reunion and the room was filled with Eds! Imagine seventy-five Ed's in one room. Isn't anyone my age still in shape?

The worst part is that Ed is in love with someone else. Yes, he is. He's fallen madly and deeply in love with his TV. TV Land to be exact. Any show before 1980 catches his eye.

I shouldn't complain. It's not like we have sex anymore anyway, so why care? But I do have fantasies, no one knows about those either. But they're with guys that look like this:

But then again, what guy wants a fifty-three year old woman? I don't look like I did in high school either. I think I'd actually be afraid to show my body to another man, especially after being with the same one exclusively all these years.

Throwing myself into my career isn't fixing my depression. If only I could find something to lift me out of this funk. I guess for now, all I could do is keep fantasizing.

How about you, do you fantasize? Am I the only one stuck in this rut? Any tips to get me out?

Yours sincerely, Victoria